A little over a month ago, when my glucose got out of control enough to mask a would-be simple and easily treatable infection, I got to spend a pretty scary night in overnight observation to make sure it wasn’t going to my blood stream.
But, hearing “we need to get a blood culture,” and knowing what that means was quite the emotional jolt. Several weeks of intentional deep breathing exercises and guided meditation every day have improved my glucose control to my target range.
This new support of my theory that my metabolism is extremely sensitive to stress and anxiety is affirming and sobering to me; a warning that I can’t just let stress pile up and hope to relax on the next vacation. That’s not good for any of us, really.
After a conversation with Andrew about my main anxiety centering around my hope that he’ll get to do his dream of pursuing a PhD, he told me that he’s at peace with the processes (a brutal process of a right fit at the right time kind of thing), and it’s ok for me to be at peace, too. “We are in the process together and that’s what matters.”
Once I let that go, I started doing mindfulness and a daily gratitude practice, to help me keep letting go of things I can’t control.
My gratitude practice is taking my notebook to the big window outside of 3E down the hall from my office and writing, for 5 minutes, everything I’m grateful for in that moment. Then I draw a mandala while I say a prayer of thanks, and return to my day. At home I do this from the sofa by the window.
My mindfulness apps are: Mesmerize and DigiPill. Mesmerize is an app that offers guided mediation for things like anxiety relief, dealing with stress, focus and clarity, falling asleep and more.
DigiPill offers similar meditations, and includes a fear of flying meditation which will come in most handy when we fly to Denver on the 15th for our anniversary trip.
Take heed of what havocs stress can wreak on your body, and find something that works for you, to stay centered and grounded; at peace.
One of my daily gratitudes is my support system. That makes it into my notebook every day. And yes, my support system even includes Reesee the Cat.