I’m trying my hand at fiction this year. As they say, art mimics life so this first foray into the fictitious is loosely based on my life at the moment. This is part of chapter one, maybe.
Charlie has never been inside a laundromat, but I’m a seasoned pro. In fact, the laundromat is, in my mind, akin to a massage and 15 minutes in the steam room at Spa Sydell. I think it’s the lull of washers and dryers. I find a trip to the laundromat downright relaxing, right up there with a siesta by a creek or a picnic on top of a mountain. Picnics are the best, especially when chicken salad and deviled eggs are involved. Whoever thought of mashing yolks with mayonnaise and whatever else is my hero. The same sentiment applies to that genius who thought up deviled ham.
Charlie and I find a double washer. When we get married, maybe in like 5 years we will have a house and very own laundry room, complete with all the equipment we need. For now, as neither of us has a washer or dryer, we combine loads once a week and spend one of our date nights at The Spinner, where after 10PM, when accompanied by a wash, drying is free. We sort our clothes into “office” and “lounge”, and sit side by side with our books while we wait.
“What do you think they’re thinking about in there?” I ask.
“Yes. The clothes in the dryer. They must be thinking about something, don’t you think?”
Charlie looks at me like I’m crazy. Maybe I am, but I go on.
” Well I just think if it were me, I’d get awful bored in there just tumbling around with nothing to do. I’d need to think of something. You know, like the quickest way to get to the Ozarks, or… or how to be excellent at crosswords.”
“Sure, why not? Actually, I think I would plan a Culinary Delights Tour of North America.”
I’ve seen that look on his face before. Intrigue coupled with an “I don’t know how to respond” air that makes me wonder if, most times, i should just keep my musings to myself.
“You would, and I’m sorry… just to clarify, as a piece of clothing, plan a…”
“As a pair of pants, yes, I would plan a Culinary Delights Tour of North America.”
“Why pants? And why a Culinary Delights Tour of North America? For that matter, why is this a conversation we are having right now?”
I look at him in disbelief. “We’re having this conversation, Charlie, because it’s important to talk about America’s most prized gastronomic treasures. And, obviously I’d be a pair of pants because I’d have legs to walk around.”
“But you wouldn’t have any arms or a mouth… or a digestive system.”
“Of course not, I know that. The whole point is a metaphor for life.”
“It’s a glimpse into who I am, and what I want my life to be about.”
“You want your life to be about seeking out delicious food?”