A friend of mine posted a word list the other day – a picture a day Lenten journey. I’ve taken the list and decided to write on the words in that list; and post them here. The weekend ones will all post on Monday because I’ll be at a cloistered retreat from tonight until Sunday.
Yesterday’s word is Gather.
In this season of my life, I feel like a gatherer as I try to gather together all the pieces of my life; fragments of my soul that have come loose from their carefully maintained, masterfully guarded little cell where all the feelings live.
Better not to feel, than to feel, because when feelings are felt, things get real; and when things get real, hearts begin to ache. When hearts ache, healing begins – but not without a first falling apart of a neatly packed inner self: dying to be known and explored; but scared to come into the light because the light is dangerous.
Light is freedom, release and life; and hiding is safe and warm. Tight quarters and quite constricted, but there is safety in control.
The light is chaos – no matter how beautiful it may seem or become in the end; light is a threat to my neatly gathered puzzle pieces of soul.
Let them all float into the air, like a shattered prism, reflecting the light, letting it reverberate with song and dance and freedom.
Let go of the control and find that this prism, formed of fractured soul thrives on light and chaos.
In light and chaos, a story is told, a life begins to make sense, and take shape and gather light into itself so that the next fracture will be more reflective, more chaotic, more vulnerable;
and all will be beautiful in its time.