Today, in Bible study, we talked about Lament. Our pastor worked us through Lamentations 3.
He outlined the elements of Lament for us and then had us write our own.
Here is mine:
My blood sugar hates me. It refuses to stabilize. It is always either too high, too low, or on the low end of normal. Never just “normal.” It makes me mad because I eat what I’m supposed to, snub dessert, exercise every day including personal training, and know I have to regularly prick my fingers for sugar checks multiple times a day, so I can know what to eat now, what not to eat now, and when to eat next.
My fingers are calloused in places and sometimes I have to prick more than once, with my lancing puncture depth set pretty high, just to get one good drop of blood.
I supposed I did this to myself after two college years of disordered eating tendencies and compulsive exercise. When you count every calorie and then exercise until they’re all burned plus a 200 calorie deficit, it’s no bueno, no matter how much society says “if that’s what it takes to look like this, do it.”
I want God to give me a normal metabolism, a normal insulin response and a normal person’s blood sugar stability.
I want God to convict a self-obsessed society that the way we treat our girls, and the way we program them from an early age to worry about the size and shape of their bodies is wrong, and needs to change.
In all of this lamenting, I see that God has helped me be disciplined about how much I exercise, how to make small meals every 2 hours interesting instead of a bore chore, and how to encourage little girls (and little girls at heart) to be beautiful in their own skin, and in their own shape.
So, I do thank God for that.