For Ana

Dear Ana,

Last week I learned something very important. I learned that you are currently the bravest person I know. 

Last week I watched you tough out things that would make any super hero cry like a baby. I watched you prepare to bring a tiny life into the world, and care for him for two days even though you knew the physical bond wouldn’t last forever. 

I didn’t stay in the delivery room because I knew that too. I’m not half as strong as you are and it would have been too much. I’d decided not to hold him because I didn’t want to get close to someone I knew I had to say goodbye to. 

Then, I did hold him- and he was sweet and beautiful and his head didn’t come off in my hands so that was a win. 

Last week I watched you treasure your moments with him, feeding him and rocking him and loving him, while holding on to your hopes for the future at the same time;  both yours and his. 

Last week I watched your heart be torn in two yet held together at the same time, as you placed him in the arms of his forever mommy. I didn’t think it would be possible to witness a single encounter replete with equal measures of pain and hope,

but last week I did. 

Last week I got to see your heart for what I’ve always known it truly is- selfless, pure and priceless- as you said a physical goodbye to a child I know will live in your heart forever. 

As the weeks go on, I can’t wait for the other side of the story- the man you will meet to treasure your pure, priceless and selfless heart, and the day you don’t have to say goodbye. 

You rock my face off. 

I love you very much and I’m super freaking proud to be your sister. 

Love,

Sara

4 thoughts on “For Ana

  1. So beautifully written. Brought me to tears! I love what you said about an equal measure of hope and pain. When Mayers birthmother was leaving the hospital I was so conflicted with heartbreak for her and joy for our family. What a blessing you are to support Ana.

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