Last week I learned something very important. I learned that you are currently the bravest person I know.
Last week I watched you tough out things that would make any super hero cry like a baby. I watched you prepare to bring a tiny life into the world, and care for him for two days even though you knew the physical bond wouldn’t last forever.
I didn’t stay in the delivery room because I knew that too. I’m not half as strong as you are and it would have been too much. I’d decided not to hold him because I didn’t want to get close to someone I knew I had to say goodbye to.
Then, I did hold him- and he was sweet and beautiful and his head didn’t come off in my hands so that was a win.
Last week I watched you treasure your moments with him, feeding him and rocking him and loving him, while holding on to your hopes for the future at the same time; both yours and his.
Last week I watched your heart be torn in two yet held together at the same time, as you placed him in the arms of his forever mommy. I didn’t think it would be possible to witness a single encounter replete with equal measures of pain and hope,
but last week I did.
Last week I got to see your heart for what I’ve always known it truly is- selfless, pure and priceless- as you said a physical goodbye to a child I know will live in your heart forever.
As the weeks go on, I can’t wait for the other side of the story- the man you will meet to treasure your pure, priceless and selfless heart, and the day you don’t have to say goodbye.
You rock my face off.
I love you very much and I’m super freaking proud to be your sister.