“Stop telling yourself that creativity is a luxury” – Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way
Today, in my writing as a spiritual discipline class, we talked about dreams. One of our writing exercises was writing on one of three prompts. I chose “my dreams are…”
When we were sharing after the exercise, everyone seemed to have a more positive experience than I did. The actual writing out of my dreams was fine. I started with “my dreams are completely wrapped up in my love of music.” But then, it turned into an exercise in why I wouldn’t be able to reach my dreams in my lifetime – even though I’ve harbored them since college.
Through the exercise, I learned that my biggest fear is always being on the cusp of going for it, of finally getting that awesome idea, and never doing anything about it because of all the things that get in the way.
The redeeming factor in all of this is that I think I’ve been looking at my dreams the wrong way. I’m getting a Master’s degree that’s preparing me for ministry, but I’ve always known I’m supposed to have music as a huge part of my life forever – ever since my first piano lesson when I was six years old.
Today, as I was writing out my one big dream, then the other slightly smaller dream, I finally found that I can connect both worlds, the world of ministry and the world of music and musicals, to create something that gives glory to God.
My big dream is to write (script and music) a musical about slavery and slaves’ journeys to freedom. The last song would be Freedom Is Coming. I have an arrangement of it in 8 part harmony that I did in the 8th grade, just for funsies, after we sang it at a chorus festival. I think it would be a great way to use my musical abilities, my heart for social justice and my love of a liberating God to create something sacred that showcases God’s liberation and the power of the human spirit.
Also, it would win a Tony, for Best New Musical, and the award would be presented to me, by Neil Patrick Harris.
(Don’t worry… my Oscar speech for when I win the Oscar for Best Original Score, my other dream, can be tweaked to fit the Tonys too.)
I ended my writing on my dreams with
“my dreams are huge. Sometimes they inspire me, sometimes they depress me. I wish I could believe that I can do it, but I’m not there, yet.”
I think after today, though, I’m on my way.